Three steps to confidence building
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Lacking self confidence in certain areas of your life and need confidence building techniques, read on for more.
Boosting confidence helps in all areas of our lives including applying for jobs, interviews, success in exams, job progression, building a business, forming relationships and developing social connections. We can all work at developing our confidence since we may be confident in one area such as work but less confident in another such as, social situations. We are not necessarily born with self-confidence but develop it from childhood and throughout our adult life. As a child, the Dalai Lama was always told by his parents that he was special; this belief developed into an attitude and confidence which has led him to inspire millions of people around the world. Not all of us are lucky enough to have had such positive influences in our early years, but can learn confidence building techniques at any age. Here are three steps to building confidence.
1. Know what you're good at
The first key to feeling confident is to know what you have to feel confident about. We are all talented and special in our own way. The problem is that we spend too little time appreciating what we're good at and too much time focussing on our failings. Even the greatest achievers can be so driven to succeed that they lose sight of how much they have already achieved.
One way to find out what your strengths are is to get an objective perspective and ask others. Select 4 to 6 friends or colleagues whose opinions you respect and ask them to email you with what they value about you and what your special talents are. The replies will be an instant confidence boost and you can re-read them whenever your self-confidence wanes.
Another technique to assess our strengths is to take a more business approach and conduct a SWOT analysis. Some useful questions within the four categories include:
Strengths
What are my professional strengths?
What particular talents do I have outside of work?
What are my strengths as a partner, husband/wife, father/mother, brother/sister, son/daughter, grand-father/grand-mother or other relative?
What are my strengths as a friend?
Weaknesses
Which areas can I improve upon in my life for example, career, health, friends and family, finance, home environment?
Opportunities
What opportunities are there in my life to improve and better myself?
Threats
What could threaten my self-confidence? For example, lack of belief in my abilities, staying in my comfort zone and never trying anything new, being overcome with fear.
2. Have belief in what you're good at
Great sports men and women, politicians and actors do not start their careers at the top of their game. What makes them succeed is a belief that they will be at the top of their game within a matter of time. Negative beliefs can hold us back from developing in our career, getting promotion and leading the life we deserve.
There is one common negative belief, which we all hold at different times and in different situations:
ÜI'm not good enoughÝ
Negative beliefs are built up over time and can begin in our childhood when a parent, teacher or other influential adult makes us feel small with a comment like, "you'll never get very far in life." This belief can then be compounded every time someone says something negative about our successes in life such as, "you're not really university material." The comments that others say and the experiences we have can be thought of as references which build and fuel our negative beliefs. Positive beliefs such as, "I can do anything I want in life" are also based upon references. If you have negative beliefs which are knocking your confidence and stopping you having and doing what you truly want, create positive beliefs to counter the negative ones. For example, from, "I could never stand up in front of an audience and present", to "I am a clear and competent speaker". You may not at first have much faith in your new belief, but the more references you build so support the stronger it will become. The best way to build references is to go out and practice what you feel unconfident in and prove to yourself that you can do it.
3. Communicate what you're good at
Our confidence will not build unless we communicate what we are good at. One of the most powerful ways to feel more confident is to stand, walk and talk confidently. This means breathing fully, standing tall, holding our head up high and smiling in a relaxed way. When your body language is confident, you automatically feel less nervous and doubtful.
A truly confident person will also accept compliments graciously by saying thank you and doesn't downplay with comments like, ÜOh, that was nothingÝ< orÜOh, that wasn't such a big thing. Ý< This shows their confidence in their abilities without being arrogant.
Confidence can be built over time by knowing what you have to be confident about, replacing negative beliefs with positive ones and by communicating confidently.